- What happened to bullet journaling?
- When I first started this blog, or even the concept of KineticRadio, it was because I wanted to make a bullet journal blog much like Boho Berry or Tiny Ray of Sunshine. The bujo system helped me sort through many of the projects I had both unfinished and in my head and helped me cope through a tough school year. My hope was to extend my experiences to others in the same way. But something didn’t quite jive. After school I got sick and have pretty much stayed that way on and off. I gave up bullet journaling when I was sick the first time and felt so guilty for it. It was making me feel worse though, all the pressure to make a new page every day, the fact that I didn’t know when to stop writing down tasks, my guilt over not finishing every little thing. I pretty much abandoned the whole concept. Now I’m slowly making my way back into planning. I’ve got a tiny Korean planner that’s adorable and already marked out. I use it in tandem with Habitica, the best website ever for getting things done. Habitica is where I brain dumb, my planner is where I pick the three most important things to do that day and write them down. It keeps me from doing too much and exhausting myself. I don’t know if I’ll be bullet journaling in the forseeable future, even though I still highly recommend it. That’s just why I haven’t blogged about it lately.
- What am I doing right now?
- Lots of small things to prepare for bigger things. Making art so I get better at it and can maybe even sell it. Learning Japanese so I can speak some when I go, hopefully in a few years (oh, and saving up for that trip). Finishing projects so moving won’t be such a hassle since I’m so, so bad at leaving projects everywhere. But honestly, most of it is just trying to be okay. Learning how to go through everyday life enjoying it as best I can while also doing things to survive (like paying rent). It’s embarrassing sometimes how not good I am at coping for long periods of time, especially during spring and summer when my depression and anxiety are at their worst. Medicine has helped, Charlie has helped, but it still takes enormous effort. This is a lot of babble to say that I am doing my best to learn how to live and live well without making myself ill. Also, it’s late and I’m exhausted from Pokemon Go.
- Why is my cat so cute?
- We do not question it. We are merely graced.
It’s 11 and I’m normally asleep by now because I’m a grandma who wakes up at 7 am on my own. I just wanted to rant a little to talk about plans/what’s on my plate.
I used to work a really nice corporate job that paid shockingly well. It was my first job. I was tossed around a lot as an intern which wasn’t bad (I learned loads), but a lot of other bad stuff happened and I left my job to start working a much slower, nonpaying job at a local publishing company. It’s wonderful because everyone is so kind and there’s tons of creative freedom, but when you go from a steady survivable income to nothing, that hits pretty damn hard.
Now I work as a waitress making min wage on erratic hours, as a cook for one of my friends, as a designer, and a freelance artist on the side. And it has definitely, definitely humbled me. I used to be able to save lots of money and still have enough to buy a book, if I wanted, go out to eat with friends. (I saved a damn lot of money but I had enough left over to be okay) Looking back, it’s amazing that I could have enough financial freedom to pretty much make any roughly sixty dollar or under purchase without a big struggle. You know, it’s incredible the things we’ll buy when we have a little extra cash. (“This Funko is so cute! It’s only eight dollars!”)
The philosophy of minimalism is very attractive to me as someone who loves moving and traveling. One of my favorite things to do (this is so weird) is to pack my bag to go on a road trip. It gives me such satisfaction to pick the smallest, most important amount of things I can bring with me. I don’t think you can fail at being a minimalist, but I think when I had my previous job I didn’t have the best view of money as related to objects. A Funko of Cthulu is great, it truly is. It’s an inspiring addition to my workspace. But now I see an eight dollar Funko as an entire hour of work for something that, while lovely, I’ll eventually have to pack, whereas I could save those ten dollars and use them to buy a memorable sandwich in a corner cafe in Scotland. And even still I know that juggling three jobs plus freelancing isn’t half as hard as the work some people do to survive. I’m lucky that I’m still in university on scholarship. I don’t mean to say here that Funkos or objects in general are bad – I just think our attitude towards them are. Mindless consumption, you know? Especially for me, I used to relate buying myself something as a reward to feel better which is very, very dangerous when you have depression.
Making over minimum wage is wonderful and a dream for many people. But I’m glad that I’m in this tough spot now. Otherwise I wouldn’t have started this blog, my youtube channel, my art. It’s made me work harder and smarter. It’s given me a greater appreciation for… everything. This is a good lesson to learn, especially at a moment where I still have a safety net of a scholarship.
Now I’m going to take a bath
And pet my cat
And go to sleep
And tomorrow I’m going to work some more.
I found a bit of piece eating some sausage and rice (bf’s special recipe) out of my cat bowl (note: not my cat’s bowl. My bowl that has cats on it). It’s noon and the blinds are closed because the sun makes the AC work too hard (it’s that hot and bright), so time’s been flowing weird today. I listened to a bunch of podcasts and cleaned, even though cleaning always seems to make my room messier until the final phase. Charlie has knocked several things off my desk in pure amusement.
New thing: my art got to a point where I bought an Intuos (for blessedly cheap) and I’ve started digital art. Clip Studio/Manga Studio is the absolute bombdiggity, even if I’m not quite there yet and the Intuos is stellar, especially for the price. You’ve got lots of room and flexibility and plenty of programmable buttons (at least for a newbie like me). It also comes in blue.
First piece – Large doodle
Second piece – much better and cute plants too
I’m realizing now that I should watermark/sign my pieces, but these two aren’t good enough to merit it yet? File that under worry about later.
Other New Thing: I’m starting a youtube channel. That’s it: no plans yet, nothing other than my tiny self logo done. I’ll fill you guys in when I’ve uploaded stuff.
Other Other New Thing: I’m almost finished making my first quilt! It is very imperfect but also very pretty and I’m proud of it. Post on that to come once it’s finished.
Time to go Be Productive